1. |
Consumed II
03:20
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He listens close,
Standing in the doorway of his innocence
He should be sleeping but
His consciousness, this emptiness
Has been keeping him awake
His breath smells of whiskey & sour.
He didn’t know any better,
That when he lay hands on his mother,
He was losing the title of father.
Hidden inside a child’s mind,
But watching through a child’s eyes.
Nothing’s ever going to be ok.
He’ll pray today but life will stay the same.
He looks into his son’s eye
He says, “Boy, this is the last time”
Nothing’s ever going to be ok.
He’ll pray today but life will stay the same.
He screams,
“Get me out, just get me out!”
This tainted blood and this broken name,
Is killing him, destroying him
“Get me out, just get me out!”
"You better grab another round and toast, your life is spiraling down."
Hidden inside a child’s mind,
But watching through a child’s eyes.
Nothing’s ever going to be ok.
He’ll pray today but life will stay the same.
He looks into his son’s eyes
He says, “Boy, this is the last time”
Nothing’s ever going to be ok.
He’ll pray today but life will stay the same.
“You better drink that other round,
You’ll force it down.
'Cause when you wake up we’ll be gone…”
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2. |
Departure
03:00
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He can’t sit and wait for his life to take shape.
Shipped off for six days to come home to the end of an era.
He’s packing up his bags while she’s crying on the phone.
But he can’t help but feel like he’s the one to blame.
Stuck in the crossfire of lies,
And the selfishness his father portrays.
As he sits on his bed, staring out the window.
All he feels, all he hears, is the sound of the wind,
And the emptiness the air,
Carries through his empty home.
As the hallways blacken, the roofs collapsing
He screams for help
“You wouldn’t change a thing,
You couldn’t change at all.
“My hero you’re leaving me!”
“You wouldn’t change a thing,
You couldn’t change at all.
“My hero you’re leaving me!”
“You wouldn’t change a thing,
You couldn’t change...”
As he lays on his bed staring at the ceiling,
And his consciousness has him in a choke hold.
He kept fighting,
Over and over and over and over again!
And as he looked into his fathers eyes,
With tears streaming down his face,
He thought, “I’ll never be like you,
I don’t want to end up this way.”
But at the time the man was his hero.
He failed him he broke him down.
Now he’s all alone, sitting in a quiet room.
“My hero you’re leaving me!”
“You wouldn’t change a thing,
You couldn’t change at all.”
“It was so perfect, now you’ve ruined it!”
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3. |
Bitter Sleep
03:41
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Day breaks again
Falling further into the insanity controlling him
He never seems to drift off into the dreams he wants to be in.
“There’s got to be something more than this
Than this bitter sleep.
His eyes are open fixated the walls
All his faults, the withdrawals are all the reasons why he can’t sleep.
There’s got to be something more than this,
Than this bitter sleep.
His eyes are open fixated the walls.
All his faults, the withdrawals are all the reasons why he can’t sleep.
“Wake me up!
“Get me out!
No heart, no soul is left in this broken core he calls his body.
He’s losing himself.
Placed on a shelf
Left behind.
His mind’s a fucking shell of it’s former self
It’s casting lies deep inside
They’ll start to eat him alive.
He screams, at the edge of his bed
Wondering, “Will this ever end?”
And in his dream, he saw the war take his name,
And carve it in the stone where he lay,
Beneath the ground,
Pummeled by rain.
There’s got to be something more than this
Than this bitter sleep
His eyes are open fixated the wall,
All his faults, the withdrawals are all the reasons why he can’t sleep.
There’s got to be something more than this,
Than this bitter sleep.
His eyes are open fixated the wall,
All his faults, the withdrawals are all the reasons why he can’t sleep.
“Wake me up!”
“Get me out!”
“It’s not a dream,
Everything is exactly how it seems.
It’s hell living nightmares when you can’t even sleep.
It’s not a dream,
Everything’s exactly how it seems.
It’s hell having nightmares…”
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4. |
Desperate Times
02:05
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Days are long but I'm keeping strong.
Still struggling to make it through the day.
Not like I care anyways
My days seem bleak and nothing else matters at all.
I've tried to pick myself out of this train of thought.
With nothing left to keep me sane.
The hardships I've battled night after night,
Have left me feeling fucking worthless.
I can't fucking fight it.
Should I call it a day?
Make believe that I can still be ok?
Drowning myself in problems I wish I left at home.
I keep telling myself,
"I'll be ok, well I'll be ok."
But it's not convincing and I'm not convinced
"Above all else, guard your heart for it's the wellspring of life."
The message that he told me,
Right before the rise.
"Just because you couldn't beat it,
Doesn't mean you should lose hope in yourself."
I can't stand to look at this mirror, without seeing a change.
Will this ever end?
Will this year ever end, oh please let it end!
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5. |
Shuffled Perspective
04:01
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The soothing sound of the midnight air doesn't seem to keep him company anymore.
There's no calming before the storm.
It's just a whirlwind effect,
Built up from a life of deceit and neglect.
"Who have I become?"
"I'm dead in my own eyes."
Looking towards the sky for what feel like the last time.
With all this weight on his chest,
He squeezes out lines in between breaths.
A heart of gold but a hate for his city.
His struggles came in waves and ripped apart the progress he made.
Feeling empty, deflated, and restless,
There's no sense in trying when he's already planned out the end.
The last months have consisted of many nights,
Locked in his room,
Writing, wishing, praying and hoping for all this to stop.
Going over the lessons his father taught,
Has become his cancer and his biggest downfall.
"I have consumed myself with everything I left behind."
These constant headaches and mood changes are poisoning my fucking mind.
"I've consumed myself with countless thoughts of never waking up."
This fear of heights don't seem so bad when I'm always looking down.
He's made his way to the floor,
Shaken up and shutting down.
He's here to rot forevermore,
With the voice inside his head,
Controlling every move he makes.
The past keeps on calling.
No future is left in sight,
"There's no use in trying!"
"I wish."
He wishes.
"I wish you could see the Hell you've unleashed."
He's losing his friends.
"I'm losing my mind."
He'll swallow his pills.
"I'm still not convinced that this will ever end."
A heart of gold but a hate for his city.
His struggles came in waves and ripped apart the progress he made.
Feeling empty, deflated, and restless,
There's no sense in trying when he's already planned out the end.
So many words that need to be spoken,
But what can I say when my mind is still broken?
"Just let it out, just let it out!"
Forgive me, for my mind has slipped.
The devil's inside me I'm losing my grip.
He's lashing out, he's lashing out on me.
You'll never know,
You'll never feel.
The scars on my back will never heal
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6. |
Lacking Vision
02:39
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You're so infatuated with your past.
Living day by day, never letting go.
Always questioning, "how long will this nightmare last?"
As long as your eyes are closed, you'll never find closure!
You wrote the book, wrote your book on feeling this way.
Can't change that now, won't change that now.
You dealt your cards and now you're about fold.
Can't change that now, won't change that now.
Self pity will get you nowhere.
Bite the bullet and let go of your inhibitions.
It's your decision!
Bite the bullet and let go...
You're running and hiding it's getting old.
You wrote the book, wrote your book on feeling this way.
Can't change that now, won't change that now.
You dealt your cards and now you're about fold.
Can't change that now, won't change that now.
Self pity will get you nowhere.
You always find yourself digging up graves,
And searching for answers that you'll never find.
Your searching,
But you'll never find them.
Bury the hatchet within yourself,
For your veins have filled with poison,
And your core has turned to rust.
You wrote the book, wrote your book on feeling this way.
Can't change that now, won't change that now.
You dealt your cards and now you're about fold.
Can't change that now, won't change that now.
Self pity will get you nowhere.
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7. |
Dear Rita
03:11
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Dear Rita:
Three months have past and I'm still staring at this blank page.
A quarter of a year of just staring at nothing at all.
As the time is passing, colours fading.
Unsure of what little time I have left with you.
Blessed with a clouded mind, believe me I'm trying!
With everything you've given me.
Nothing I can say can add up to anything you've done for me.
That day, when your illness got the best of you.
You brought our family together.
It was the first time in years.
It's sad to say that those countless tears you've shed finally counted towards something.
I'll always be the cowboy you dreamed I'd be.
Choking on my breath and fighting back tears.
It will always be a painful memory for me.
But it's what you wanted in your time in need and
I wont forget your name.
Don't forget my name.
Don't you forget my name.
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